1. When I think of home it is not the place itself, it is not the building, it is not the structure of home, it is more of a sentimental place where I can go to. It is my own place of comfort where I can come and relax and be away from the misogynistic society that I live in. When I grew up home was not safe and I wasn’t allowed to be myself. So every time I come to my own place, and now that I live on my own, I can relax, feel safe and by myself, because I have my own freedom even though it can be hard sometimes, but I can control it in my own ways and I can do whatever I want, home is a feeling of safety rather than a structure of a building.
2. First of all binders are the thing that a lot of trans masculine people who are afab make use of to flatten their chest. They can be used by anyone, but these are the main people who make use of them. When I bought my first binder, I had to do it secretly, because my mum didn’t allow me to have them, so I used to wash them at night and dry them in front of the fan so she wouldn’t find them, and I used to hide them. So they were a taboo in my house, but they were a significant thing for me, because they helped me to be more confident when I go out, they helped me to be myself, they helped me to envision myself once I get top-surgery. Recently since I started to live on my own, I couldn’t afford binders, and a binder only used to last me a year or a year and a half at most. So a group of my friends collected money since they are a bit expensive, and they managed to buy me my third binder, because the second one I also bought it myself, and that is how I got my third binder. The first binder also was donated by a friend of mine, because I was looking for a binder and a friend of mine donated the binder, and I DIYd it to fit me, so yes that was my first binder. The second binder, I bought it myself, the first binder I bought, the third binder it was donated during Christmas from my friends and the fourth binder after a year living on my own I managed to buy it again for the first time since living on my own. So these binders are quite significant, because they show me also the progress that I’ve done throughout the years,. The first binder I had to hide it from my mum, from my family, the second binder , I bought it for myself so it was like the second step I took, the third binder shows that I’m surrounded with people that love me and support me for who I am and the last binder is that I managed to overcome all those hard times, and I did it on my own.
3. I do think that we should challenge and change the aspect of masculinity, because at the end masculinity is what the person makes it. Masculinity isn’t having short hair having a lot of muscles being hairy, being tall, being rough and tough and a macho. Masculinity is what makes you feel comfortable. We made up masculinity as humans, it doesn’t exist, it’s made for us to feel a certain way and to put a label on us. It’s a problem because if for example we had to mix and match between the “two genders” (if we had to put them like that), people are going to be bullied and marginalised for that, and it shouldn’t be, because we are not allowing people to be themselves, so in a way masculinity can be harsh also for cis men, and it damages them, because they are taught that they cannot be vulnerable because its a feminine thing and women are the ones who cry. It’s toxic and it shouldn’t be, cos we can’t be ourselves because we are structured to be a certain way, and we don’t have space to explore our own self and our own identity, its exhausting and it shouldn’t be at all, because we are suffocating ourselves because we are beautiful in our own way. We should be allowed to be ourselves, wear what we want, act how we want, and love how we want, and it just needs to change, as it’s all problematic. Even on the other spectrum, like femininity, certain ideas around femininity, should also be challenged, because they are all problematic if they are extremes.
4. For me masculinity is what I feel comfortable doing but still it is not the stereotypical masculinity for me, it is not having a lot of muscles it is not liking to work out like one of the photo shows, it is not being rough and really buff, it is where I feel comfortable and I can relax, where I can be flamboyant, where I can be perceived as a mara-raġel where I can be non-binary as I want to, masculinity is my comfort, is where I feel also feminine, it is where I am relaxed and I’m myself, it’s where I can explore my own identity, it’s me at the end because I make up my own masculinity, it’s deciding to wear a suit with nail-polish and colourful hair. It’s me when I decide to have a mohawk but deciding to be more feminine looking, I don’t know, it’s just being true to myself and it’s just comforting.
