Webmail 19/08/2021, 09:47
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Re: Rosa Kwir with Cynthia
27 July 2021 | 18:32 | 26 KB
From: Cynthia Chircop <*****@********>
To: roxman@rosa-kwir.com
Why did you choose L-Gharusa tal-Mosta as a place to be photographed in?
I spent time here as a student at the arts college right next to it, and always enjoyed the view and the calmness of the space especially whilst drawing.
How do you identify your gender to yourself or to other people?
I don’t usually identify myself, unless someone asks, or they assume and make some blanket statement or we’re having a conversation on masculinity/femininity (yes, it happens!). When I identify my gender as non-binary to other people, I often get asked what that means. I naturally go into activist mode, and explain to them that I don’t identify with traditional gender identities and roles of female/male, and even delve into how society, culture and media have influenced and ingrained our interpretations of gender. It makes for interesting conversation because the binary is so ingrained into ourselves, and how we express ourselves that most people don’t question it unless it’s challenged.
Tell me a bit about your non-binary experience
I always felt uncomfortable with being female, both biologically and in terms of gender expression and experienced gender dysphoria from a very young age but I didn’t understand why. As a child, I just dressed and behaved as was expected of a girl; played with Barbies and everything, but I still had more fun doing “boy” activities, like sports, outdoor adventures etc. As a teen, I was more comfortable wearing baggy clothes, having short hair, and dressing as neutrally as possible. I still wore dresses and skirts occasionally because it was expected of me to look feminine, but I still was confused with being a boy. One time, a woman in a restaurant stopped me from entering the ladies’ bathroom because she thought I was a boy in a skirt, simply because I had short hair. At a time, when I believed I HAD to be feminine because I was biologically female, I was very offended and hurt because my femininity was questioned (I just wanted to pee, lady!). As I grew older, and I started to question my sexuality too, I felt I fit more under the tomboy lesbian label, but still it felt out of place. I couldn’t quite put my thumb on what it was. Up to this point, I didn’t know of trans persons, except in the media where trans women were treated as men wearing dresses and the butt of the joke, while trans men were largely invisible and I had little idea that other people questioned their gender identity. When I was at university, and I started attending an LGBT youth organisation’s activities, and later on, became more involved with activism and met more diverse people in the community, did I start to question the binary of gender identity and expression. I knew I didn’t quite fit with female, and neither male, and I finally had a label for it. Being somewhere in between made more sense with my experiences, and gender expression especially.
Today, I chuckle when I get confused for a guy (to which I get a lot of apologies, and I try to console them because they genuinely panic) , but secretly I kinda enjoy it because it means I’ve achieved some form of balance, where the masculine aspects have balanced out my femininity.
Do you think that it is important for us to challenge, and change aspects of masculinity that are problematic?
Yes, I believe that the problematic aspects shouldn’t be allowed to define masculinity, just because the past meant being masculine means behaving and acting a certain way that borders ‘hunter’ mentality; characteristics of toxic masculinity should be challenged, because they are detrimental to everyone, and studies have even shown the impact on men’s mental health. As humans have evolved, so should our definitions of masculinity (and femininity) and especially in a society that places more value on equality between genders (in a society that still values the binary of genders) and includes those that don’t fit within the binary, we should develop a more positive definition of masculine identity. Plus, other cultures have varying definitions of masculinity that we should appreciate and learn from!
What does masculinity mean to you?
Masculinity to me means embracing appearance, characteristics and roles associated with men, within the socio-cultural context I grew up in; like being strong, independent, confident, assertive, enjoying sports, taking risks, being protective. For me, being honest, caring for others than myself, sharing, are all characteristics that can be considered masculine too.
On Wed, 30 Jun 2021, 15:40 , <roxman@rosa-kwir.com> wrote:
Hey Cynthia
Thank you for accepting to be part of this project and for meeting up. Waned to remind you whether you have thought of anything that you could donate to the archive, if you have something in mind would you be able to send me a short description about the object/s too please?
Here are some questions I’d like to ask you feel free to answer or not answer any of the questions below.
You can paste questions and reply to them in an other email if you want
Why did you choose L-Gharusa tal-Mosta as a place to be photographed in?
How do you identify your gender to yourself or to other people?
Tell me a bit about your non-binary experience
Do you think that it is important for us to challenge, and change aspects of masculinity that are problematic?
What does masculinity mean to you?
Thank you
Roxman
xx
