Webmail 12/08/2021, 15:07
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Re: Rosa Kwir with Reb
12 August 2021 | 14:29 | 27 KB
From: Reb Xiberras <******@********>
To: roxman@rosa-kwir.com
The other day when we met, and I asked you to choose a place where you feel most comfortable in, you mentioned your home in Qormi, would you wish to tell me more about what this space means to you?
I have rented apartments and lived with flatmates ever since I moved to Malta to study and work and whilst it was an enriching experience I always felt that feeling of “home” missing, 2 years ago I decided to move in with my sister and it has been a great experience, coming out brought us closer than ever and living together I can see the sheer determination of my sister also being an advocate for equal rights across all gender identities. Being trans or simply not fitting within the box of gender stereotypes in society brings with it an element of vulnerability and a search for safety. Being called names, being shoved, ridiculed and laughed at are some of the behaviours many people from the queer community have experienced. We minimise the kind of impact this leaves on you as a person and on your mental health. So safety and security are definitely a must when I look for spaces and relationships. I am lucky I found it, many people cannot say the same.
If I remember well, you had mentioned that before joining LGBTI+ Gozo, discovering that you are queer felt quite isolating for you, now you are a key member of the organisation… looking back and fast-forwarding to this present day how would you describe your journey, how important has it been for you to be part of this organisation and seeing it grow?
Before becoming an activist whilst I was aware of the queer community I was not involved in it.. was indeed quite isolating. ..and for many years I believed I wouldn’t be able to fill that void and loneliness but in my own journey I discovered parts of myself, and met people along the way that inspired me, LGBTI+ Gozo was definitely a key player in this. It showed me the possibility of dreams becoming a reality, of fierce determination, of unwavering resilience, of belief in the greater good. Seeing the organisation grow, becoming an established voice in society, is a proud moment, not only of the executive members but of the volunteers, the allies, the sponsors, the collaborations. There is definitely room to grow and many more things to continue fighting for but the growth in the past years has been indescribable. When I look back on this journey one word comes to mind: self-acceptance .. As activists we have to admit that we have our own prejudices, introjections, shame and guilt passed to us from society. Being trans, gay, bi, pan, doesn’t stop you from your own homphobia and transphobia. There is not just one switch that takes it all away. It is a journey. And whilst we can use that anger, fear, disappointment and frustration towards a fight for a more respectful, open, non-judgemental society we have to be of an example and work on ourselves first, it is through our own self-acceptance that we can truly accompany others on their own journey of self compassion, acceptance and love.
How do you identify your gender to yourself or to other people?
I don’t believe gender has a list of things you should check, gender is an identity, it’s an expression, boxes are for shoes not for gender. I believe every single person has a combination of factors that they feel relate to a certain identity, irrelevant of what society thinks certain genders should act like or be like, it’s your own journey, make sense of it as you will. Ultimately, under all the clothes, behaviours and mannerisms, irrelevant whether you have none, one or many gender identities there is a thumping heart with a soul yearning to be accepted.
Would you wish to tell me a bit about your non-binary experience?
Do you think that it is important for us to challenge, and change aspects of masculinity that are problematic?
Toxic masculinity is definitely in need of a challenge, for all genders, for all humans. It really does not serve anyone, except to systems and institutions wanting control and power. Boys feel there are only a limited number of emotions they can express, growing up to be men that are not able to name their emotions let alone experience them and then expressing them in the right way. Girls feel limited by the size of the dreams they have, growing up to be women fighting to be included and still treated as less and …. and the trans /non-binary kids? well they weren’t acknowledged, seen or understood up till a couple of years ago feeling like the weirdos, the misfits, the creeps, the ones left out… all identities are valid ..so Why do we need to challenge toxic masculinity? because it serves no one.
What does masculinity mean to you?
Reb Xiberras
Email: ******@*********
“Once your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching”
On Mon, 9 Aug 2021 at 11:20, <roxman@rosa-kwir.com> wrote:
Hey Reb
Was really lovely to meet you the other day and really enjoyed our chat. I am really happy to have you part of this project and looking forward to photographing you this Friday.
Wanted to ask you a couple of questions, answer whichever you feel like …
The other day when we met, and I asked you to choose a place where you feel most comfortable in, you mentioned your home in Qormi, would you wish to tell me more about what this space means to you?
If I remember well, you had mentioned that before joining LGBTI+ Gozo, discovering that you are queer felt quite isolating for you, now you are a key member of the organisation… looking back and fast forwarding to this present day how would you describe your journey, how important has it been for you to be part of this organisation and seeing it grow ?
How do you identify your gender to yourself or to other people?
Would you wish to tell me a bit about your non-binary experience ?
Do you think that it is important for us to challenge, and change aspects of masculinity that are problematic?
What does masculinity mean to you?
Thank you Reb
see you soon
Roxman xx